Hey there, this is just a 17yo autistic depressed (yes diagnosed) guy with no will of life. I know this is not the place to be a pick me, but I'm hoping for help. I am waiting for therapy and professional help, but the waiting lists are long, and since months I rot in my room cuz I ain't got the money to get a hobby that can me entertained. Earning money irl is no option, my father is an asshole, my mother is physically and psychological not beeing able to work anymore and I'm crazy and full of fear and anger. I'm writing this looking for help. I want to get a way earning money online so I might finally be able to buy some games for my switch, or maybe earn enough to get an oculus quest 2 so I stop getting more and more insane having to suffer in my room alone. I just want to distract me from all this pain till I finally be able to get professional help. If I don't get something to entertain me soon, I'll kill myself in the next week. I'm dead ass, this is my last hope. Due my autistic traits most of the things "the average human" can enjoy, I can't, cause I'm a emotionalless robot, and that's not caused by the depression. If I broke rules writing the text, I'm sorry, but ban me I'll die sooner or later anyways Ig, I already got enough Xanax to kill the fear of death anyways.
Sorry for the negative energy here, I just have enough of suffering everyday. Money is everything and right now, I'm too disabled to work. I'm not even lazy, I'm just overwhelmed with the world and myself.
And I also know this doesn't belong here, but Idk where to look for help neither the darkweb
Also sorry for the bad formation, im writing from my phone